shoulds
Duties weighing heavily
Shoulds is the plural of should used as a noun, referring to obligations, expectations, or rules that someone feels bound by.
It appears most often in psychological or self-help contexts to describe internalized pressures that may be unrealistic or harmful: I'm trying to let go of all the shoulds in my life.
The phrase shoulds and shouldn'ts captures the full range of self-imposed rules people carry around.
Beliefs about future outcomes
- dutiesRequired tasks or charges
- responsibilitiesDuties one must fulfill
- oughtsMoral duties owed
- mustsRequired things
requirements · pressures · demands · rules · norms · standards · imperatives · mandates
Moral self-reproach
- shamePainful awareness of failure
- regretSorrow over past actions
- perfectionismCompulsive pursuit of flawlessness
- ruminationProlonged, repetitive thinking
inner critic · self-blame · inadequacy · failure · disappointment · anxiety · pressure · stress
Proposed courses of action
- suggestionsProposed ideas or advice
- guidelinesSuggested rules for behavior
- tipsExtras for servers
- counselExpert guidance offered
guidance · prescriptions · directives · instructions · pointers · wisdom · admonitions · exhortations
Treatment restructuring harmful thought patterns
- irrational beliefsConvictions lacking logical basis
- belief systemsCoherent sets of convictions
- emotional reasoningTreating feelings as evidence
- all-or-nothingWithout partial outcomes
black-and-white thinking · disputing · reframing · mindfulness · self-compassion · acceptance
expectations
Beliefs about future outcomes
- dutiesRequired tasks or charges
- responsibilitiesDuties one must fulfill
- oughtsMoral duties owed
musts · requirements · pressures · demands · rules · norms · standards · imperatives · mandates · dictates
guilt
Moral self-reproach
- shamePainful awareness of failure
- regretSorrow over past actions
- perfectionismCompulsive pursuit of flawlessness
rumination · inner critic · self-blame · inadequacy · failure · disappointment · anxiety · pressure · stress · burden
recommendations
Proposed courses of action
- suggestionsProposed ideas or advice
- guidelinesSuggested rules for behavior
- tipsExtras for servers
counsel · guidance · prescriptions · directives · instructions · pointers · wisdom · admonitions · exhortations · encouragements
cognitive behavioral therapy
Treatment restructuring harmful thought patterns
- irrational beliefsConvictions lacking logical basis
- belief systemsCoherent sets of convictions
- emotional reasoningTreating feelings as evidence
all-or-nothing · black-and-white thinking · disputing · reframing · mindfulness · self-compassion · acceptance
- normsnorm, norms, standard, social norms, rule
- requirementsrequirement, requirements, prerequisite, requisite, requisites
shouldscans
Sealed metal containers
permissions · freedoms · wants · choices · options
shouldswants
Longs to possess
desires · wishes · preferences · true feelings · inner voice
- should beExpected or proper state
- should havePast obligation unfulfilled
- what should I doQuery seeking guidance
- you should talkIronic dismissal of criticism
- should have known
- you shouldn't talkAdvice against speaking